One Ticket to Neverland, Please

I myself am somewhat tired of these posts that are less of happenings and more of ponderings. My purpose in actually doing this blog was to let people know what I'm doing on this side of the pond, not so much to make you endure the mess that is my mind. However, lately I've been doing more thinking than seeing and doing, so I'm afraid this is what you're stuck with. I've had another apostrophe. I mean epiphany. And that is that James Barrie knew what he was talking about when he wrote Peter Pan. Growing up is lame, because most of us do it wrong. I think as children we see grown ups as the serious, boring, responsible ones. They are the authorities, the ones who know everything, the final word. It's sort of exciting as we get old enough to finally have some responsibility, some say in the way things happen. The terrible part about it, though, is that we forget all the things we knew when we were kids. Like how to imagine and how to believe. The more I've thought about it, the more horrified I've been. The value of the things grown ups leave behind when they get older is immense and the fact that it's forgotten is absolutely absurd. I can't think of another way to explain it but that its like watching someone shove hundred dollar bills into the shredder. The jaw dropping, staggering ridiculousness of it, the reckless waste it is! It's no wonder that in Neverland all grown ups are pirates. This does relate to London, I promise. I'm getting there. And I'm sorry that all of this is sort of duh epiphanies. It's nothing new or original, it just all suddenly has meaning to me now. Anyway, if people held onto the attitudes and mindsets they had when they were children, while maturing otherwise, think of what the world would be like. People would be quick to make friends and slow to make enemies. They'd be loyal and honest. They would have a strong sense of justice. They would reach out to help each other. They wouldn't see the point in drawing out disagreements and misunderstandings because they would see that there are better, more enjoyable things to be done with their time. They would cheer each other on instead of trying get ahead of each other. I mean the list of improvements it would make in the world is endless. So why do we leave all that behind when we get older? Why do we (speaking about the adult world in general) come to think that other people aren't human? Why do we think our world is the most important? Why do we keep our eyes down when we walk down the street instead of smiling at strangers and neighbors? Why do we feel the need to get ahead of everyone else? I'm speaking in generalizations, remember, but it just seems so...silly. So pointless. When we try so hard to make life better for ourselves, we end up making it more of a struggle for everyone to exist. If, instead, everyone had an eye out for everyone else--if everyone cared and wondered and acted--we'd eliminate an enormous amount of the world's issues. If we smiled instead of scowled, if we laughed instead of shouted, if we befriended instead of shunned, wouldn't we come to understand each other better? Pirates indeed. I have been, once again, remarkably fortunate to have adults in my life that are amazing and wonderful and know what its all about. And I know it's not fair to make generalizations, so no one take offense, please :)Anyway, this relates to London because I've been getting more and more frustrated with myself and my inability to fully pull myself away from this rubbish attitude I've had lately. I've just been so tired and almost resigned to finish up my time in this job and finally get on with my life. Hello--I'm living in London and getting paid for it. I've learned more about myself in the past two months than I ever could have imagined. For me to complain is absurd. Which is why it's been so irritating to me that I still am struggling with being here! I kept thinking "oh these kids, these kids!" and how exhausting and frustrating they were and how ready I was to be done working with them. But that just didn't sit well with me; kids aren't born mean and spiteful and ungrateful. I mean, they are straight from heaven! They are pure and innocent and wonderful. So why should I be blaming anything on them? And then I realized that it hasn't been the kids that have been making my life difficult....it's been the adults. When just me and the kids are together, we have loads of fun. Yes, there are disagreements and issues, but we work them out just fine. It seems like when we're with their parents, everything is such a drag and is so much more complicated than it has to be. I've had the song "Elaborate Lives" from Aida stuck in my head ever since this thought struck me. Adults tend to view life as complicated and intricate. Children see things as simple and clear. Maybe they aren't always right, but its just...simple. And with simplicity comes the ability to slow down, to think, to understand, to relax. To stop running around like a chicken with its head cut off and just spend time enjoying life, rather than trying to pack it full of all these accessories and extravagances. These are good people. I don't mean to imply anything contrary to that, its just that I think there is so much that they could do without that would make their lives so much more enjoyable. Since their life is so elaborate, it makes it difficult for them to relax and actually enjoy what they have, including each other. It's really sad to watch, and really frustrating. They ar so close to happiness, but all they seem to be able to achieve is amusement. That's not enough for me. Not nearly. I guess my solution isn't to never grow up. As much as we would all love to stay kids and never have to worry about mortgages or car payments or changing diapers or scrubbing dishes, I think growing up is exciting and gives us all a chance to learn and contribute and experience. I don't think growing up ever ends, either. Which means its never too late to turn around and remember the things we knew when we were kids. I'm sort of slow on the uptake, so I'm sure all of you have already realized this. I guess I did, too. It just never really applied to me before. That's my problem; I learn things on time, I just don't really learn them and apply them to myself until much later. Someday I'll be on top of things.