While I've been here, I've felt very busy. However, I have gotten quite a bit of thinking done. It's funny how now that I am removed from my day to day life, the people I see all of the time, the places I go, the things I do, I am able to see it all a bit clearer. I think that everyone has all the understanding they will ever need; it's like a reservoir in their heart and mind, and only when they slow down and quit thinking "me, me, me, I, I, I," do they get the opportunity to tap into that reservoir. I've been privileged over the past few years to slowly get more and more understanding. Key word--slowly. I tend to get wrapped up in the things I
have to do (like go to work and get good grades so that I can afford...well...life) and fulfil obligations and responsibilities that I don't stop to see what my life is compared to the rest of the word. Today I stopped to smell the roses--literally. At Holland Park there is a beautiful rose garden. I must have smelled thirty flowers. I couldn't help but think as I did it that trite phrase everyone always says. I think its so true, though! If we spend life zooming past all
the finer things in life, all the important moments and gifts, we simply lose the opportunity to bask in the wonderfulness that makes up our blessings. The word "blessed" has always had an economic overtone to me. You are "blessed" if you can make your rent. You are "blessed" if
you have the money for extra toys and nice things. You are "blessed" if you never have to worry about having food in your cupboards. I think its always been a knowledge in the back of my mind that this isn't so, but it has only been in the last couple of years that it's really been obvious to me. The last few months especially have seen a dramatic rise in my appreciation for my family, siblings especially. They are my best friends and my heros. I was thinking about all of the memories of my childhood, and each one of them centers around one or more of my siblings. I still very vividly remember possibly the one and only real argument I ever had with my big brother. I told him I hated him. I remember him saying, "Is that why we went to the temple to get sealed?" I cried later, and I never argued with him again. To this day, he is one of the people I look up to the most
as someone who, while he is very silly, knows what life is about. He is every thing a big brother should be. I could say similar things about all of my siblings; I love them all so much it hurts. It makes me shudder to think how terrible it would be if families weren't together forever; if we hadn't been sealed; if I would lose them after death. Since I have been in London, I have come to appreciate my parents so much more. I started out life with a strong respect for my parents; their word was the law! I only broke it if I knew they wouldn't know...that's all I'll say, I am not in a confessional here ;) But more than that, I respected them as people. I felt like they were always right, even if they weren't. Then I entered the teenage years. They weren't the smoothest years for my family. As every teenager does, I started to doubt the flawlessness of my parents' ways. I considered my knowledge and understanding to equal and in many respects surpass theirs. I still respected them, but I thought I knew enough to take care of myself. I appr
eciated them for supporting me, both monetarily and in life in general, but I didn't need their advice. I was smarter than that. Well *deep sigh* I have come to learn the folly of my ways since being here. Living with a different family, completely unrelated to my own, has opened my eyes. My parents were the most patient, selfless people in existence, I am sure of it. Chasing around three kids is exhausting. Five must have been impossible. I have already said how fantastic my siblings are; I think that is because of how we were raised. We were raised to value ourselves by our character and how much good we could do, not by how far ahead of everyone else we could get. Which, as I am sadly starting to realize, is how much of the world classifies worth. It's been a somewhat discouraging discovery; I always figured everyone thought the way I thought and valued the things I valued. The other day I helped a man carry his luggage up the stairs in the tube. He was a big, strong guy, and I'm not particularly strong, but I knew I could help so I did. I'm not telling anyone that to say oh look at me, I helped, I'm good, now tell me so! No, no, no. I'm telling that story because I wanted to tell you how good it felt. The look of surprise on his face, the sweet smile he gave me, and the warm goodbye as I rushed on to catch my train completely lifted my spirits (which were dr
ooping a little with homesickness) and made my entire day so fantastic. It was the highlight of my day, with standing three feet from Van Gogh's paintings as a close second. I just think that humanity is doing itself an injustice by being selfish. It is depriving itself of the simplest--yet greatest--joys of life. Anyway, I'm not sure that I really had a point with this post, other than to say that I have done a lot of thinking while being here, and if I get nothing out of this trip other than finally having time to think, it would have been worth it. I've already got more out of it than that, though. I am disproportionately blessed; I don't do near enough good to deserve the people or the circumstances of my life. I know people always thank their family and friends for whatever, but really--thank you. Family especially. I don't say it enough, but just know that I watch and learn from you and I love and appreciate you for the people that you are. That includes Kimball, Caleb, and Dana. All of you. Mom, Dad, brothers, sisters, everyone. You are the most important people in my life and I love you. I LOVE YOU.
While I've been here, I've felt very busy. However, I have gotten quite a bit of thinking done. It's funny how now that I am removed from my day to day life, the people I see all of the time, the places I go, the things I do, I am able to see it all a bit clearer. I think that everyone has all the understanding they will ever need; it's like a reservoir in their heart and mind, and only when they slow down and quit thinking "me, me, me, I, I, I," do they get the opportunity to tap into that reservoir. I've been privileged over the past few years to slowly get more and more understanding. Key word--slowly. I tend to get wrapped up in the things I have to do (like go to work and get good grades so that I can afford...well...life) and fulfil obligations and responsibilities that I don't stop to see what my life is compared to the rest of the word. Today I stopped to smell the roses--literally. At Holland Park there is a beautiful rose garden. I must have smelled thirty flowers. I couldn't help but think as I did it that trite phrase everyone always says. I think its so true, though! If we spend life zooming past all 
the finer things in life, all the important moments and gifts, we simply lose the opportunity to bask in the wonderfulness that makes up our blessings. The word "blessed" has always had an economic overtone to me. You are "blessed" if you can make your rent. You are "blessed" if you have the money for extra toys and nice things. You are "blessed" if you never have to worry about having food in your cupboards. I think its always been a knowledge in the back of my mind that this isn't so, but it has only been in the last couple of years that it's really been obvious to me. The last few months especially have seen a dramatic rise in my appreciation for my family, siblings especially. They are my best friends and my heros. I was thinking about all of the memories of my childhood, and each one of them centers around one or more of my siblings. I still very vividly remember possibly the one and only real argument I ever had with my big brother. I told him I hated him. I remember him saying, "Is that why we went to the temple to get sealed?" I cried later, and I never argued with him again. To this day, he is one of the people I look up to the most
as someone who, while he is very silly, knows what life is about. He is every thing a big brother should be. I could say similar things about all of my siblings; I love them all so much it hurts. It makes me shudder to think how terrible it would be if families weren't together forever; if we hadn't been sealed; if I would lose them after death. Since I have been in London, I have come to appreciate my parents so much more. I started out life with a strong respect for my parents; their word was the law! I only broke it if I knew they wouldn't know...that's all I'll say, I am not in a confessional here ;) But more than that, I respected them as people. I felt like they were always right, even if they weren't. Then I entered the teenage years. They weren't the smoothest years for my family. As every teenager does, I started to doubt the flawlessness of my parents' ways. I considered my knowledge and understanding to equal and in many respects surpass theirs. I still respected them, but I thought I knew enough to take care of myself. I appr
eciated them for supporting me, both monetarily and in life in general, but I didn't need their advice. I was smarter than that. Well *deep sigh* I have come to learn the folly of my ways since being here. Living with a different family, completely unrelated to my own, has opened my eyes. My parents were the most patient, selfless people in existence, I am sure of it. Chasing around three kids is exhausting. Five must have been impossible. I have already said how fantastic my siblings are; I think that is because of how we were raised. We were raised to value ourselves by our character and how much good we could do, not by how far ahead of everyone else we could get. Which, as I am sadly starting to realize, is how much of the world classifies worth. It's been a somewhat discouraging discovery; I always figured everyone thought the way I thought and valued the things I valued. The other day I helped a man carry his luggage up the stairs in the tube. He was a big, strong guy, and I'm not particularly strong, but I knew I could help so I did. I'm not telling anyone that to say oh look at me, I helped, I'm good, now tell me so! No, no, no. I'm telling that story because I wanted to tell you how good it felt. The look of surprise on his face, the sweet smile he gave me, and the warm goodbye as I rushed on to catch my train completely lifted my spirits (which were dr
ooping a little with homesickness) and made my entire day so fantastic. It was the highlight of my day, with standing three feet from Van Gogh's paintings as a close second. I just think that humanity is doing itself an injustice by being selfish. It is depriving itself of the simplest--yet greatest--joys of life. Anyway, I'm not sure that I really had a point with this post, other than to say that I have done a lot of thinking while being here, and if I get nothing out of this trip other than finally having time to think, it would have been worth it. I've already got more out of it than that, though. I am disproportionately blessed; I don't do near enough good to deserve the people or the circumstances of my life. I know people always thank their family and friends for whatever, but really--thank you. Family especially. I don't say it enough, but just know that I watch and learn from you and I love and appreciate you for the people that you are. That includes Kimball, Caleb, and Dana. All of you. Mom, Dad, brothers, sisters, everyone. You are the most important people in my life and I love you. I LOVE YOU.
1 comment:
So...does this mean you'll come up to Logan?? Hee hee??
Just teasing. We do have a great family don't we?
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